life.

nothing is fair. nothing is easy. the world is not always warm and comforting. its cold, empty and broken.


i woke up today going on only 3 hours of sleep. it was just a bad night. i woke up and found out i had hurt the woman who means the most to me, my mom, without even thinking. i woke up and it was raining, making me think of you. i woke up happy, excited. i woke up not knowing what the day would bring to me. nothing could bring me down today. i knew i had a rough day ahead of me, but for some reason i was just so happy. maybe because i knew i would get to see you, hear you, just be around you. the day went by fine. laughs here, giggles there, a smile always on my face. but it was too good to be true, of course. honestly, i didnt think anything bad could go wrong on a day like this. thats when i walk out to my car and hear a worried voice call me over. something was wrong. grace was crying, even the boys had the frozen look of fear on their faces. then i noticed you weren't at school Austin. i heard only little of what was being said. all i got was "mom.. died.." .....my heart froze. nobody knew what happened. all i could hear were the sobs coming from inside and my body start to shake. it couldn't be true, could it? no.

the world is harsh. it's on days like this that the people we love most disappear. nothing is fair. its hard. Austin, no matter what, we will always be here for you. forever. you are one of the sweetest guys i know. you always make me laugh, and keep a smile on my face, even when you wont let me win a game of UFC on xbox. you care about all of your closest friends more than alot of people i know. remember that we care about you just as much. everybody is here for you, every step of the way, every minute, every second. whatever you need, we're going to get it for you, whatever it takes. dont lose hope, keep strong.

we love you.