(after i read everything, i dont understand how you readers understand what i say, because it's just so messy and thrown together and thoughts just crash)
this week was just a roller coaster of emotions. it started off wonderful. amazing. nothing could have been better. then wednesday it went downhill, for good. one little thing can just throw me off the edge and i hate it. seriously, i wish i could change that. wednesday, you moved, we fought, everything changed. thursday ugh. friday, the day was okay, honestly. i dont think i have ever been to a better football game. seriously. i had the best time there, screaming and laughing and just enjoying the little things in life. PLUS we won in 3rd OT. hell yes mc. afterwards was fun. i'm glad me and my old bfff are gettin bfff again. god i missed her. saturday.. i waited to hear from you all day. but that call never came. it hurt, but i didn't want to look like the weak one, i needed to try and stay strong. too bad i was never strong in the first place. ha. saturday.. i got to see you! i seriously didnt think you were really going to come and see me. dinner was yummy, and of course katie and hannah drooled over you, just like every other girl. its weird though, it was different this time. i didn't feel like i had to have you when you came, i didnt need you to stay or be mine. i'm over you and i dont think i could be more confused. ha. jacobs was.. interesting to say the least, but fun.
even though i was a wreck, i did have fun. but i only wanted you there honestly.
they say don't cry because it's over, but smile because it happened.. well, sometimes it's necessary to cry.
this is what i say. there is nothing better than a good cry honestly. the ones in the shower, or even driving down the road. something about them make you feel better, am i right? or am i just crazy? maybe a bit of both.
i realized today that the song love the way you lie... wow. those lyrics are my life right now. seriously. it came on in the car and i just listened to the words, truly listened and it made me cry. weird.
just some lyrics for the day.
"i tried to treat you like no other, to be like no other in your life. and i cried to see you with another"
"hear me out please, hear me out before you walk out that fuckin door. i love you like no other, i do you like no other, i swear to go i motherfuckin tried"
"baby please come back, it wasn't you it was me. maybe our relationship isnt as crazy as it seems. maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano. all i know is i love you too much to walk away though"
i really need to go do my project. i have no motivation to so anything anymore though. that can't be good.
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