unwelcome.

have you ever walked into a place and instantly felt that horrible feeling of being unwanted or unwelcome; like something is wrong and this place, where you are right at that very moment, is a place that you should not be in? you'd think i was talking about a room at school, or a store.. something along those lines. i never thought i'd feel that feeling walking into my own house; the house i grew up in, the only place that i have ever called home until 9th grade, the only home i laid down at night and slept in my bed, in my room. ever since my parents split, its been the weirdest feeling every time i pass my daddys house, which used to be my home, i get sick to my stomach. i don't think i realized how much things have changed until tonight. i went over to his house, with his new gf and nana and pops to have dinner.. and put up the tree and all. it was so weird because i was putting up a tree in my old home, but it wasn't with my family. it wasn't like it always was. you'd think the first christmas would hurt me more than this one, the second one. but the thing that really got to me was after the tree was up, i went into what used to be my room and laid in my old bed, and just stared at the ceiling. i think it finally sunk in... that wasn't my room anymore, this wasnt my home, all traces of me ever living there were gone. my room was empty and ghost like.. and right away i got that feeling that i wasnt welcome anymore.

divorce is a hard thing to deal with. i never thought that my parents would seperate and when it happened it was the biggest blow to the head and heart. its still weird to think about.

also, you hurt me bad today. those words you said.. wow. i dont think i've ever felt worse than i did today. nice going.

the stupidest mistake in life is thinking the one who hurt you the most wont hurt you again. 

i miss you. i wished you missed me back.